Guest post by Wallee the Frenchie

Miss W is incapacitated by an awful head cold and she can’t bring herself to write a post, so she asked Wallee the French Bulldog to do it for her. Miss W will be back when she is no longer full of snot. 

Hi readers,

My name is Wallee, I’m Miss W’s friend. Miss W is very busy at the moment and doesn’t have time to post, so she asked me to write a post for her. I am a French Bulldog, and I’m not used to writing blog posts, so don’t hold it against me if I make mistakes. My paws are a bit big for the keyboard…

I’m going to tell you a bit about what I did last weekend. I normally live out in the sticks near London, which is a little bit underwhelming for me because there aren’t that many interesting smells round there, but I don’t like to complain because my humans think it’s great that I have a garden to run around in, so I let them think that. Last weekend my humans decided to come down to London so they let me sleep over at Miss W’s house instead of their freezing Airbnb. I love Miss W because she lets me sleep on her beanbag. Another great thing about Miss W is that when she cooks she’s very creative (read messy) and she accidentally lets little bits of food fall on the floor which I swiftly pick up.

Friday

On Friday night Miss W and I fancied a night in after a long week, so we got a Chinese takeaway. This is me waiting outside the takeaway. The food took ages and the Chinese lady forgot to put my favourite prawn crackers into the bag which was disappointing. I had to wait outside because dogs aren’t allowed in her shop, but it was OK because London streets are really dirty and I got to sniff loads of different smells; I even licked something quite tasty, I think it might have been a bit of spit.

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After our Chinese food Miss W and I snuggled on the sofa and watched a documentary about drug trafficking. I saw some sniffer dogs on the programme, and I really wish I could be like them, busting drug smugglers and being the heroes. Miss W cuddles me a lot, and I make sure I grunt a little bit so she knows I like it, although sometimes she does squeeze me a little bit too hard and I have to escape from her embrace. I jumped onto the beanbag and fell asleep at 10pm. This is me snoozing.

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Saturday 

I woke up quite late, at 7:30am, and Miss W still wasn’t up so I whined a bit so she would come and feed me. Humans think that I like these horrible pellets they feed me, but actually, they are the most disgusting little dry things. I only wolf them down because they don’t let me eat anything else, so I have no choice.

After a walk, where I did my business next to a tree, Miss W and I went home. Miss W got a phone call for me, it was my friends who sometimes walk me when I stay at Miss W’s. They said that they were coming round for brunch. This is me on the phone. Miss W had to hold the receiver for me because my paws aren’t big enough. Even if they were, I probably wouldn’t tell her because I quite like someone else doing things for me.

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Since it was a sunny day and people were coming round, I made an effort and put on the super cosy snood Miss W got for Christmas and some sunglasses.

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I wasn’t allowed to have any of the yummy pancakes they all had for brunch. It was quite rude of them not to offer any, but in the afternoon they took me to the park which made up for it. Miss W didn’t realise how muddy it was so she let me run onto the grass. I love getting muddy. I particularly enjoy playing with my frisbee and shaking it around really hard when I catch it.

This is me waiting for my frisbee to be thrown.

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Me running, Chariots of Fire style.

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The worst part about going to the park was that Miss W said I was too muddy and needed a bath. She put me in the shower and I looked like a drowned rat.

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By posting that my street cred has just gone way down, but I like to keep it real with my pictures so you all know my life isn’t just insta-perfect.

On Saturday night the New England Patriots played, so I changed my outfit yet again… so exhausting being a city dog… My humans are American, and they like American football, so I like it too, by association. The problem with the NFL is that it’s not very popular in the UK, so sometimes it’s hard to find a place to watch the games, but I do my bit and represent Pats fans.

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Sunday 

On Sunday I was feeling quite lazy as the game went on pretty late, so I took it easy. In the morning I went for a walk with Miss W and I did my business. She only had one poo bag left, so I thought it would be really funny to do another poo and make her feel guilty for not having anything to pick it up with. (The good thing is I did my business near a tree so it was camouflaged and I don’t think anyone actually saw).

When we got back, Miss W and I read a bit. She’s reading The Mountain Shadow by Gregory David Roberts, so I read with her.
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It got a bit philosophical, and I got bored, so I grabbed Miss W’s phone and took some surprise selfies that she could laugh at once I was gone. Here they are.

Don’t I just have dreamy eyes?

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I took another one where I was trying to do a French girl pout, since I’m a Frenchie, but not sure it worked.
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In the afternoon, I decided to dress up as a baby lion and just because I could, and because I’m cute like that and I just can’t wait to be King
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So that was my weekend guys. I hope you had a good one too and that you enjoyed reading my blog post.  Keep reading Miss W’s blog, she obviously can’t always post such cute pictures like I can, but she tries… bless her.

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