5 (somewhat) frivolous reasons the UK should stay in the EU

You probably all know that on the 23rd of June the UK is due to vote on its membership of the European Union. In the last few weeks Miss W has been on a bit of a tour of the UK. She went camping in Sussex and then went to Hay Festival in Wales, then up to Edinburgh and Carlisle. One thing that surprised her a lot was the sheer number of “Vote Leave” signs she saw in rural areas… 

As you all may know, Miss W is of Catalan ilk and is an incorrigible francophile, so there was never any question that she would be a 100% total “Innie” (this refers to her voting In, not to the status of her belly button, but in case you were curious, she is a very proud innie). So, Miss W would like to share with you her reasons for voting Stay, In, Remain, whatever you want to call it… Here goes: 

We would need a visa to go to France

Oh mon Dieu! How could it be possible to have to get a visa to cross Le Channel? Non, this is wrong… Miss W thinks it should be easy to go to the continent easily, and quickly without the extra cost or hassle that visas could require, whether to France or anywhere else in Europe, I want to be able to travel around easily! 

The price of food would go up

Ok, so Comté cheese and Jamón are already expensive enough in Waitrose… Imagine if the UK left the EU and we had to pay higher taxes for essential foodstuffs that make our dull British diet so much better….no thanks. And wine! Would we have to drink British wine? God forbid. 

We might be kicked out of the Eurovision Song Contest 

Douze points could never be won by the UK if we couldn’t even take part!! The Eurovision Song Contest is THE best thing about being in Europe (Still think Australia shouldn’t have been allowed to enter) and I would be devastated if we weren’t part of it. I love the kitschness of Eurovision, and how many strange languages the songs are in… Particular favourites continue to be the Russian Grannies and Conchita Wurst. 


If Britain left the EU, Theresa May and her croonies would get their way and slam the door on all the foreigners who contribute to our society. Mostly Miss W would be sad because that would mean there would be a distinct lack of diversity on the street and the proportion of pasty white people would go up. Urgh. 

We’d have to put the “Great” back into Britain 

Despite what some inhabitants of this blessèd isle seem to think, Britain ceased to be a great empire a long time ago. So if we left the EU suddenly we’d be forced to make it great again, to justify our delusions of grandeur… Is it worth the effort? Methinks not. We’re much better off in Europe, allowing all the other countries to believe that we’re a big and necessary player and still having our place at the table. 

So, if these aren’t damned good reasons to stay in the European Union I don’t know what are… So vote In, Stay, Remain… And if you vote Out, Brexit, whatever… then don’t complain to me when you bitterly regret it. 

Miss W has spoken. 


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